Awkward, much?

 Hello.  It is I.  The awkward one in the corner.  

We went to a graduation party yesterday.  I knew a number of the other invited guests.  Yet I still felt so incredibly awkward.  Like I didn't belong.  I didn't fit in.  

We didn't stay anywhere near as long as many of the guests.  Just a couple of hours, barely.  I tried to hold out and stay longer, thinking maybe something would click and I'd suddenly relax.  It didn't happen.

I have been working so very hard to shed my insecurities.  I thought I was doing well. Yesterday was a clear example that I still have so much work to do.  

I wonder -- will I EVER feel like I fit in?  Will I ever simply NOT CARE what others' thoughts and opinions of me are?

NOW I remember

 Grace and Eric drove down for a visit last Sunday. Unfortunately, he had to head back to Canada yesterday morning because he starts his new job tomorrow. Thankfully, Grace is able to stay a couple weeks longer because one of her BFFs is able to drive her back home at the end of the month. 

Yesterday, while out and about with Grace, we passed our church. Grace mentioned that she was sad that Eric had to leave before getting to attend a service there, this time, and hoped that maybe on their next visit he’d get to attend a service there. I asked if she wanted to go to church today even though he wouldn’t be able to join us. She responded that she thought she would like that. 

So we went to church. 

Can I just say that this morning’s service reminded me of all that I have been missing?  

My attendance prior to Covid had gotten spotty. Life was getting busy. It became too easy to make excuses to myself as to why I couldn’t attend services each week.

Early Covid-times, I tuned in to the weekly services via zoom. I enjoyed feeling the connections I had been missing with my fellow parishioners, while getting to sip coffee from the comfort of our living room couch. But it wasn’t quite right. Soon, I found that I didn’t bother with logging in at all. The virtual method of worship wasn’t reaching my soul like in-person worship does. 

I have been saying for a while now that I wanted to get back to attending services in person. But I never made it a priority to actually MAKE it happen. Until this weekend, because it was an action that fulfilled my girl’s request. (Why is it always so much easier to do things when they are for the benefit of our kids - no matter their age?!)

Sitting in the pew this morning, I felt so much peace. I was where I belonged. Right where I needed to be - in that very moment.  

NOW I remember why attending services regularly needs to be the priority. Worshipping the Lord - giving Him all my worries - made me feel a calm that I haven’t felt in far too long. 

I don’t know that I’ll be able to fit services into my every-week-routine at this point, but I do know that I am going to make attending as many services as I can a priority. 

Here are some of the images that I captured while walking along the trail with Butch and Nora today.

This last one is my favorite image that I captured today.  I think I may print & frame it to hang on the wall at the new house.

 

Happy Easter!

 Today has been a rather quiet holiday. Ollie is having dinner with their boyfriend’s family. Paige is at her mom’s. It’s just Butch, Will, Nora, and myself here at home. I am cooking a ham and have made baked Mac and cheese to go along with it. We’ll also have roasted asparagus. 

Butch, Nora, and I went to one of the local trails to go for a walk. It was CHILLY!  It actually started to hail while we were out there. 

Nora and I both brought our cameras. I got some pretty good shots.  I am as trying to upload them to share, but my phone and Blogger don’t seem to be playing nice together  I’m going to have to sit down with my surface people and transfer the images from there.  Be sure to check back later!

Blended families

 This afternoon/evening, Butch, Ollie, Will, & Nora will go with me to my late mother-in-law’s house. Gordon’s sisters, nieces, and nephews have invited us to join them for a family dinner. Blending families isn’t always easy, but the effort can be so very worth it. I appreciate that Gordon’s family accepts Butch and includes him in planned family activities. I also appreciate that while it may be awkward for Butch to participate in these types of gatherings, he does it anyway. Both sides of my extended families have all gone above and beyond what feels comfortable to do what feels right. Even without Gordon as the glue, we still have plenty of ties that bind. And lots of laughter and memories to be made. 

Project 365 should already be named Project 3**

Not even a week in, and I've already missed a couple of days of taking pictures for my Project 365 campaign.  Is there anyone out there that is surprised?  I'm not!

I won't go into the excuses as to how/why I missed a couple of days.  Just know that I am seeing the beauty all around me, even when I don't take the time to document it.  I will continue to endeavor to capture the images I see in my head, to share here.  Hopefully I manage to capture at least one image a day for the next 51 week.  

And remember -- something is almost always better than nothing!!

So, without much further ado, here are a couple of the images that I did manage to take within the last week:

 

Quality Time while Pursuing Passions

Last night, knowing that Nora wants to also participate in a Project 365, I asked her if she'd like to go somewhere with our cameras today.  She agreed, although not as enthusiastically as this Momma would have liked.  We discussed different places we could go, and planned to go to the Seaside Sanatorium in Waterford.

And then I woke to discover just how dreary today was shaping up to be.  A cloudy sky is actually a really great thing for a natural light photographer (no blinding sunlight or dark shadows to worry about!).  Still, I worried that being along the shoreline would prove to be a little less than hospitable.  I AM a princess, afterall, and I didn't want to end up miserable if the winds at the shoreline were to be a factor on this gray day.  

And yet, we wanted and needed to get out of the house to find something interesting to photograph.

We both agreed that maybe a quick trip to Salmon River would fit the bill.  I knew the parking situation would mean that we wouldn't have to venture terribly far from the car to find subjects to photograph -- which also meant that should the skies open up, we would have just a few paces to run for cover.

I'll post my Project 365 photo at another time, but wanted to share this image I took of my girl.  

Project 365 - 2022 edition

 Nora has discovered photography in the last couple of years. We were trying to figure out what to do tomorrow and decided we’d like to go somewhere to explore our photographic creativity. This lead to me telling Nora about years past, when I participated in Project 365. 

So she and I have decided to do a Project 365 this year. This is my first photo of the year. 

It isn't the greatest of pictures.  I had to use my cell phone to capture the image, as my camera batteries (all three of them!) were all dead.  But I like it.  And the point of this project isn't to capture only the best of the images there could be, but to see the beauty in all the things around us.