Grace got married

 Yesterday we celebrated Grace and her love, Eric, at  lovely little chapel near their new apartment.  Eric's dad, Scott, presided over the ceremony.  It was a small affair (thanks, Covid) but so beautiful.  Their love was evident all around. Grace was elegant in her gown.  The bride and groom were picture-perfect.

Today, Butch and I will drive back to the states with Ollie, Will, & Nora.  We leave our precious Princess Grace behind to start her new life with her new husband.  8+ hours from us.

This whole thing is so surreal to me.  I can't tell you when it was that our Princess suddenly grew up, but she has.  Except she'll always be my Baby Girl in my mind.  I'm at war with myself.  

Part of me is so proud of the young woman we raised.  That part of me is looking forward to seeing all the ways she is going to go out and conquer the world.  She's going to do GREAT things, there's no doubt about it.

And then there is the part of me that doesn't want to let her go.  I swear, this goodbye feels almost as hard as saying goodbye to Gordon.  This is silly, I know.  Moms are supposed to say goodbye and watch their children move forward. 

Still, I can't stop wishing I could grab her in a great big bear hug and never let go.

Next Chapters

 Yesterday morning, I hugged Grace goodbye and wished her safe travels.  My Princess.  My first Baby Girl.  The one who made me a mom.  

She has set off to start her next chapter in Life.  She is following her dreams and making them come to life.  She has moved to Canada.  CANADA.  As in an 8-10hr drive away from home, depending on route(s) and traffic and border guards' efficiency.

She'll be marrying her sweet, loving, kind, gentle fiancé in six short days.  Thankfully the borders will be open to vaccinated US citizens, effective tomorrow, so we'll be able to be there in person ourselves.  It'll be a whirl-wind weekend for us, but I will take whatever I can get.

I'm sitting in what was her bedroom up until a little more than 24 hrs ago.  In front of the same computer desk she used, on the same desk chair.  I'm trying to soak up all of her that I can.  I didn't realize that it would be THIS HARD to say goodbye and know that my baby is leaving the nest for good.  I wasn't prepared for it to be so.....final.

It's a good thing she left a box of tissues on top of this desk!

How do mothers do this?  How do they continue to move forward? How do they face the world when such a huge piece of them is gone, never to return?

Of all of the ages and stages of parenthood, I never knew THIS would be the hardest part.  I never even really knew to prepare for this moment.  I certainly wasn't prepared to watch my baby drive down the driveway, setting off toward her next chapters in Life.