Belly Pic -- 28weeks 4 days

Like I said in my earlier post, it's been another month since my last belly pic. Here's one I took just a few minutes ago.....I'm 28 weeks and 4 days pregnant today.

....knowing that a few of my friends would prefer to see a belly picture that actually shows a little more than just my belly, I took this picture too:

failed the test!

I just got the dreaded phone call from my OB's office. The nurse tells me that I failed the 1hr Glucose Tolerance Test that I took last week. BIG SURPRISE there. So now I have to go in to the lab on Saturday morning for a 3hr test. I'll have to do a 8-12hr fast before this test, so I'll be going in there without the benefit of breakfast OR coffee, will have to sit in that stinking waiting room for over three hours (if I'm lucky they won't be busy, or it'll be more like 4+hrs), and will be ready to just collapse by the end of it all. I swear, whoever developed this particular test and then decided to perform it on a pregnant lady must be totally psychotic!

I've realized that it's time to take another belly pic -- it's been a month since my last one! I'll try to get one taken and posted here this afternoon sometime.

EDITED TO ADD: Just heard back from the nurse....I'd forgotten to ask her in the initial phone call what exactly my blood sugar level was. She said it was 149. Their cutoff is 130. So, although it's high, it wasn't astronomically high. Still, this doesn't mean I won't fail the 3hr too.

Monday Morning Madness

Ok, so it's not totally madness around here, but still. Today's weather forecast is calling for LOTS of rain. A double blessing, really. We really do need the rain -- it's been so dry for too long. BUT today happens to be the day that my girls are bent on driving me absolutely NUTS. They're bickering and quarreling non-stop, which is a pretty good feat, considering they've been up for less than an hour!

Perhaps it's the weather fronts that are causing their moods to be so pronounced this morning????

Anyhow....

My mental health day yesterday was an absolute success -- just what I needed to recharge my batteries. I lounged around a little bit, but didn't stay that way the entire day. Gordon and I totally rearranged our bedroom. Now there's two separate, distinctly defined areas. One is the 'bedroom' area while the other end is more of a 'sitting room/nursery' area. While everything's not entirely ready for the baby to arrive tomorrow, I'm feeling real good about the fact that at least the sleeping arrangements have been made!

Oh...and I also managed to paint not only my fingernails, but my toenails too!! For any women out there who read this blog, I'm sure you realize what a major feat that is -- to be able to bend around a big ol' pregnant belly to reach one's toes at this point in a pregnancy. I can assure you that the actual job isn't the prettiest it could be, but I didn't do too shabby, if I do say so myself!

And now we're back to the grind with the start of another week. It's just about time to get the girls off to the bus stop, so I'd best get running.....

One last thing I just thought of......I received the sad news that my friend, Kelly, who I was scheduled to play wedding photographer for in June, has had to reschedule her wedding. Due to a couple of different obstacles, she and her fiance, Chris, decided to change their wedding date to August 2nd. As much as I would have loved to carry on and be a part of preserving their memories for posterity, I realized that the timing just wouldn't be right for me. The baby would be (at best) barely two weeks old. Certainly not old enough for Momma to be gone for 6+ hours, and still young enough that I'd be nursing him/her every hour and a half to two hours while trying to do my job if I brought him/her with me. I'm very sad that I won't be able to do this for Kelly and Chris, but totally understand that sometimes that's just how the cookie crumbles.

At least there's a silver lining to this cloud.....Gordon just bought me a new 55mm-250mm zoom lens for my digital camera!! He knew I'd been wanting one for forever and had suggested we get it now, so that I'd have it to use for the wedding. I'm just going to consider it my consolation prize for not being able to play photographer! Who knows...perhaps I can put it to great use this summer and get some excellent shots of my kids to share with everyone!

Mental Health Day

I decided first thing this morning that we're just going to hang around the house today. I feel like I've been running around so much lately that I really and truly just need a Mental Health Day. So, we're being total heathens and are skipping church. I told the girls that we could paint our fingernails this afternoon. What's better fun than spending time with my girlies just pampering ourselves for a bit?? I may even see if I can manage to bend over enough to paint my toenails too!



Perhaps Gordon and I will get around to rearranging our Master Bedroom this afternoon. I've been playing around, picturing in my head different layouts for months now. It's time to finally try a couple of them out to see which will actually work best. I'm starting to get anxious about getting the cradle ready for the baby.

Glucose Tolerance Test

Since my OB asked me so nicely on Wednesday to please get to the lab sooner than not, Will and I will be heading back down to New London this morning so that I can take the 1hr Glucose Tolerance Test. This is a basic screening to see if my body is having a hard time metabolizing sugars. I'll get to the lab and (hopefully finding it's empty and without a long line of people waiting) will be given a very sugary carbonated glucola drink. After drinking that, Will and I will get to sit around for an hour doing nothing. Once the hour has passed, I'll get to transform into a human pincushion so that the labtech can draw a couple of vials of blood. If my blood sugar level is 130 or higher an hour after drinking the glucola solution then I fail. This buys me a pass to have to go back and take a 3hr Glucose Tolerance Test.

PLEASE keep your fingers crossed that I can somehow manage to pass this 1hr test! I've taken that 3hr GTT more times than I care to count. Trust me when I say it's NO FUN to have to sit in that darn lab waiting area for three hours, being poked and having blood drawn every hour on the hour! I end up being so very bruised when all is said and done that I resemble someone who has just gone ten rounds with the best boxer out there!

Controlled Chaos

All week long I've been needing to do a load or two of laundry (which has now reproduced into more like 4 or 5 loads!). I need to get to the grocery store -- we're just about out of the last package of cereal. I need to bake another batch of bread -- Gordon had to run to the market around the corner to buy some this morning so he could have a sandwich for lunch. I've got to get the kitchen floor mopped and the rest of the floors at least vaccuumed, to say nothing of the dusting that's not been done in a dog's age.

Add to all of this the fact that this evening is our bi-monthly Brownies meeting, plus Thursday nights are my nights for the weekly get together at my Mom's house. Gordon will be helping Eddie fix up his racecar again tonight (Eddie brought it over last night and they worked quite a bit on it then), so I'll need to get all three kids in jammies and in bed after Brownies, before I head to Mom's.

OB appointment update

Just a quick note to everyone that I just had my latest and greatest OB appointment this morning. Everything looks well. The baby's heartrate was great at 158bpm. My OB admonished me for my little sunburn. Oh well, if he only saw it last week, he'd have had a COW! ;)

I need to go for a second 1hr Glucose Tolerance Test sometime in the very near future. (They like to have it by 28 weeks, which I'll hit on Friday....dunno why they didn't give me the lab slip at my last appointment 4 weeks ago!) I start going every two weeks now, so my next appointment is on May 7th. I can't believe we're already far enough along for that milestone!

Back to the Grind

It's Monday. Yuck. That means that we're officially done with school vacation. Double yuck. The girls both go back to school today. Will and I will attempt to once again resume our 'normal' routine.

The girls were both so tired from our busy vacation week that Gordon had to roust them from bed this morning at 7am. They both came downstairs and ate their breakfast right away. Now they're back upstairs to get dressed and ready for school. Luckily neither one of them woke in a grumpy mood!

The weather forecasters were telling me this morning that we're looking at a pretty dry week. No chance of rain until this weekend, at the earliest. Temps in the mid sixties mostly. Mostly sunny days each day this week. Looks like Will and I can take advantage of our lovely weather and spend lots of time outside.

Perhaps I'll be able to clean up some of the gardens -- they're all looking quite drab!

Hope everyone has a great Monday...

Weekend Update

What a gloriously beautiful, sunny, gorgeous weekend we've had! Gordon, the kids, and I all spent most of the entire weekend outside. Yesterday started out with Grace having indoor soccer, but the rest of the day was spent outside enjoying our beautiful backyard. Susan came over for dinner (grilled steaks -- YUMMY!). Today we all drove to Groton to attend church services at our old church. We went from there to Grammie's house for a few hours and then came home to have a visit from Paul Y.

I haven't gotten the chance to check out the weather forecast for the upcoming week, but I pray it's similar to the weather we've had these last couple of days. Will sure has enjoyed all of this outdoor time and will be heartbroken if he can't spend most of the day outside!

Day Five of Vacation

It's Friday. Vacation is coming to a close way quicker than I'd like. This week has been a really great week. The weather has been GREAT! We've had lots to do, but haven't felt too much of a time crunch from running around from activity to activity.

I'm not entirely sure what we're going to do today. I had mentioned to Grammie that we may make the trek to Groton again today, to be able to visit with her. Not sure at what point we'll do that, but I'm thinking probably not until closer to mid-afternoon. The only for sure thing is that I really must tidy this house! With all of our activities this week, it's hard to believe that the house would be anything but tidy, but it is. Most likely it'll be easiest for me to cruise around and do what I need to with the kids all playing outside.....guess I'll wait until we're all fed and dressed.

Yesterday was great fun! Carol, Tonisa, and Pauline met us at the park (after some confusion over time and place). We sat down under the pavillion at a picnic table to eat our packed lunches. The kids were anxious to run right over to the playground equipment, where they spent the majority of their time.

I never even thought about sunblock -- until it was too late, that is. Luckily it's mainly me who needed it. I am now sporting a pretty shade of deep pink on my arms, feet (thanks to the flip flops I was wearing), and my neck. Guess what I'll be sure to apply on everyone today?!?!?

I have a few pictures that I took yesterday afternoon while at the park, using my new zoom camera lens. I'll be sure to update the blog some time soon with the pictures.

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My belly is a very obvious pregnant belly now. William delights in patting, pinching, hugging, and kissing it. He will often lift up the bottom of my shirt to get to my bare belly so he can lean over to say, 'Hi baby!' and then kiss my belly. Afterwards, he'll re-cover my belly and say, 'Night, night baby....see you next time.' It truly is quite cute to see/feel. Still, I'm not entirely sure he *gets* that there truly is a baby in Momma's tummy. Part of my disbelief is because he'll sometimes (ok, often) call my belly, 'BOOBIES!!!!' Ha ha ha ha. Silly boy! All's I can say is thank goodness he hasn't done it in public. Yet.

Day Four of Vacation

Yesterday, though busy, was quite a great day! The weather was perfect. Lucky us, today should be just as beautiful.

Today, I'll be packing picnic lunches for the kids and I. We've planned on heading to Groton (our old hometown) to meet up with my very good friend, Carol, and her three girls at a park. We'll eat our picnic lunches and then just let the kids play. Should be great fun, at least for my kids. ;) (Carol's girls are all older than my lot....Dianna is a Jr in high school, Tonisa is a Sophomore, and Pauline is probably 11 or 12yo)

Actually, I'm sure everyone will have fun. Carol's girls just adore my kids, who adore them just as much. It'll be a great afternoon for sure!!

Last night Miss Emily came over to babysit the kids while Gordon and I went out. When I called to ask her, I had no plans in mind. I just wanted Gordon and I to have a couple of hours of adult time without the children. We opted to head down to the Crystal Mall to just walk around and window shop. While we did window shop, we also ended up spending some big bucks too.

Gordon convinced me to buy a new zoom lens for my digital camera. I had been looking at new lenses a number of weeks ago, planning on spending some of the money I'll be earning when I 'play photographer' at Kelly's wedding in June. When I saw some of the prices listed online, I dropped that idea. There was no way I could convince myself to spend that kind of dough. Well, the lenses we saw last night at Ritz Camera were a lot more affordable, but still more than I would have agreed on spending right now. Gordon thought it was well worth the investment and decided that we should get the lens right then and there, so I could play with it before the wedding and be able to have it to enhance the wedding portraits I'll be taking in June.

After our time spent at the mall, Gordon and I decided to go out for dessert and/or coffee. First we were going to try the Coldstone Creamery, as neither of us has been to one yet. We got there and saw how long the line was and opted to just forget that idea. I wanted ice cream, but not bad enough to wait in THAT line! In the end, we went to Friendly's in Norwich for sundaes and coffee. VERY yummy!

I asked Emily about Gordon and I doing this on a semi-regular basis. She has a very full schedule, but the kids all adore her and I trust her implicitly. I just haven't had the heart or energy to try to find someone else to babysit which means Gordon and I haven't had much couple time together. Lucky me, Em loves my kids just as much as they love her, so she was more than agreeable to my idea of Gordon and I trying to plan a date at least once a month!!!

Day Three of Vacation

It's Wednesday and I can't believe vacation is already half over with!

Today should be much busier than the previous two days. First, the kids and I will all be heading to the store to pick up some much-needed groceries. After that, we'll be heading over to the Smith's house for a special workshop Amy has prepared for the 4H'ers. Once we're done at the Smith's, we'll be heading up to Mansfield to our church's parsonage where we'll have a tea party with Pastor Becky. Finally, I've arranged for Emily to come babysit the kids tonight so that Gordon and I will be able to have some adult time together without the kids underfoot. Susan is house-sitting for a co-worker friend of hers right here in Lebanon, so I'm hoping the three of us will be able to take advantage of being childless to do something nice together.

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I'm very sad to say that Pastor Becky announced to the church congregation this past Sunday that she's received a new appointment to a church in Providence, RI. I'm on the Staff, Pastor, Parish Relations Committee, so I was made aware of this change on Friday evening.

For those who aren't aware, the Methodist church is what is called an itinerate church. The pastors are appointed to their churches by the cabinet. Usually a pastor will only stay with one particular church for a few years. The church I attend has had very long pastoral care relationships (we're talking upwards of 10 or more years per pastor), for the most part, right up until Pastor Becky was appointed. She came to us two years ago, after having served for about 5 years in Groton (where I first met her....she was appointed there shortly after I became a member to that church).

I will admit to being very very sad, but not entirely surprised, when I heard the news. I have felt for a long while now that Pastor Becky was having a hard time with the church here in Mansfield. (Heck, *I've* been having a very hard time with the church myself!) Pastor Becky is a city girl. Living in the country has been very tough for her. Also, Becky is very passionate about working with inner-city poor. The Mansfield church, however, doesn't really have a lot of missions to help the poor from Willimantic (the next city/town over). In our old church in Groton, the church building is/was used just about every night of the week by groups not necessarily affiliated with the church (AA, Narcotics Anonymous, etc). Here in Mansfield, the church building sits empty and unused more often than not.

The church in RI is sure getting one great pastor. It will, for sure, be a much better fit for Pastor Becky. I truly believe this is a great opportunity for her and will miss her very very much. That being said, the very selfish/childish part of me wants to do nothing more than stomp my feet and cry. I'm so very sad that Pastor Becky will no longer be at my church by the time I am due to have this baby in July. (her appointed will be official as of June 29th) She won't be the pastor who will be baptizing this baby.

BUT, like I said, this move really is the best thing for everyone (else) involved. So, I've decided I must keep my chin up and smile and not allow my sadness to get in the way of cheering on a very dear friend as she moves on to the next chapter of her life.

Day Two of vacation

Today is day two of vacation, and all looks much brighter today! Will seems to be over his stomach bug. Noone else in the Rodgers house seems to be showing any signs of having caught the ickies . The sky is clear blue, with the sunshine bright as can be.

All three of the kids got their haircut this morning. Grace only wanted a little trim. Actually, she would have preferred if I'd just left her hair alone, but it's been months since it was last trimmed and it was showing signs of getting a couple of split ends. We settled on only trimming about 3/4" off the bottom.

Dianna wanted her hair to be cut waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay short. Like up to her earlobes. I talked her into only cutting it to shoulder length. She's happy, I'm happy. It's all good. Also, Di has decided to keep her bangs afterall, so those got a trim too.

Will was excited when I asked him if he wanted his hair cut too. As a matter of fact, he'd run right upstairs and then began playing with the clipper (unplugged) and all of the guards that go with it while I trimmed the girls' hair. He did quite well at first, but after I'd only done four swipes on the top of his head, he started getting antsy. He was done. I *knew* I should have cut his hair first!! I wrestled with him for a bit and then called down to Grace and asked her to grab a lollipop from the candy bucket, thinking that would keep him occupied till I finished. She came up with an orange flavored tootsie roll type thing. He did end up putting it in his mouth, but then freaked out when it stuck to his teeth. Grace tells me we don't have any lollipops in the candy bucket. I'll have to make sure I get more before Will's next haircut.

Right now, the girls are showering and getting dressed. They both have a large stack of clean clothes to put away in their dressers. After that, I hope to get everyone outside for some fun, fresh air, and sunshine!

Spring Break!

This week is Spring Break for the local school system, which means both Dianna and Grace will be home with Will and I all day long. I LOVE not having to rush around in the morning, reminding the girls to not dawdle as they get ready. We're totally taking advantage of being lazy today. It's 10am and everyone is still in jammies!

I had originally planned on meeting up with Mom, Pauline, and Jerod to take the kids all to Lyman Orchard to get some fresh fruit and for the kids to feed the ducks. Unfortunately, William woke early this morning vomitting. He's not consumed anything but juice since then, but even that's not staying put in his tummy. My poor boy just isn't feeling well at all!

I guess we'll have to try to make it over to the orchard another time.

Other activities planned for the week include a special Record Keeping workshop for Grace, so that she and I can both learn how to properly update her record book for 4H. Wednesday afternoon, we'll be heading over to the parsonage for a tea party with Pastor Becky. We'll be heading to Groton on Thursday to meet my very good friend, Carol, and her girls at the park for a picnic lunch and some play time, and then will likely spend the rest of the day at Grammie's house.

I just hope this yucky stomach bug that Will seems to have doesn't run through the entire house and mess with our vacation week too much!

Happy Birthday Mom!!

Just wanted to send out a shout to my Mom. Today is her 65th birthday!!!

Happy Birthday to you....
Happy Birthday to you....
Happy Birthday, Dear Nana,
Happy Birthday to you!

Of course, my poor mother will get the opportunity to hear me (attempt to) sing that to her in person. Gordon, the kids, and I will be heading over to her house for an impromput party. My nephew Paul wanted to throw Mom and surprise party, and I've volunteered to make dinner. My niece Amanda will be bringing Angel Food cake and some strawberries in lieu of birthday cake.

Hope you have a great day, Mom! Love you lots!

Brownie farm field trip

Yesterday, Tracey and I, along with two other mom volunteers, took all 14 of our Brownie Scouts to a local hobby farm for a tour. The girls learned about bee keeping, egg laying hens, guard dogs, and goats. They got to gather eggs and wash them off, toss feed to the non-layer hens, brush and milk goats, and toss hay to the two male goats. We learned about how every animal on the farm has a job to do (even the non-layers). We watched how the goat milk gets filtered right away and saw how a simple Queso Blanco is made. Lastly, the girls got the chance to try some homemade maple syrup, honey, and a few different goat cheeses.

I'm certain all of the girls learned a lot. There were questions coming out left and right. I know that *I* learned a few new things too!

The best part of all is that all of the girls had a BLAST. We had a couple that were a little reserved about one thing or another (like the one girl who was afraid she'd get stung just by standing near the bee hives or the other girl who was afraid we'd make her milk the goat even if she was too nervous to do so). In the end, though, every single girl participated 100% all because of her own curiosity.

Spring is here -- will it stay???

Today's weather forecast shows that we're supposed to be experiencing a sunny day with highs in the upper 50's. I'm THRILLED! I have been anxious for weeks now to begin hanging my laundry outside to dry, rather than wasting energy using my dryer.

As soon as we got the girls off to school on the big school bus this morning, Will and I were out in the backyard. He was playing with his trucks in the sand, I was busy hanging my first load of laundry for the season. As my luck would have it, Will got bored way before I was done hanging the laundry. I didn't think it'd be a big deal when I saw him headed over to the shed where we've got the chicken coop. No big deal, I think. Will can't get into the actual coop where the hens are.

I WAS WRONG!

I look up from the socks that I was hanging to see that the coop door is ajar. Of course I went running over to find William IN the coop. He was busy playing with the pine shavings, picking it up by the handful and tossing it at the hens.

Luckily none of the hens escaped from the coop. They were too busy trying to stay away from Will and the flying litter!

Anyway, I'm hoping that Spring is here to stay. I'm tired of Winter. I'm tired of mud. I'm tired of the sun just teasing us every now and then. Will and I sure are ready to spend the majority of our days outside soaking up the rays.

Field Trip!

A BIG thanks to my mom for making today's event possible!

I got to chaperone Grace's class on their trip to the University of Hartford's Lincoln Theatre to see the play, Anne of Green Gables. I got the girls off on the bus this morning, had a few minutes to visit with Mom and make sure Will was settled in with Nana for the morning, and then ran off to the school to get ready for the trip to UHartt.

Let me tell you, in all these years since I last attended public school, I'd forgotten HOW BADLY those buses ride! My legs were stiff from being folded up and cramped in behind the seat ahead of me. My butt was sore within a half hour of the total 50 minute ride. It was totally numb by the time we got to our destination!

The play itself was pretty good. My one and only (minor) complaint was that the mic on the lead kept cutting in and out. At one point it started making a chirping sound, much like a bird chirps. Kind of annoying, but since the theatre isn't too big, her voice carried well enough that we were able to hear most of what she said/sang. (Plus some of the other actors' mics picked her up from time to time, when they were close by each other)

I'm pretty sure that Grace was thrilled to have me accompany her. She thrives on special attention like that -- I'm sure she often feels lost in the shuffle of being the big sister to two younger (oftentimes more demanding) siblings. She asked if I'll be chaperoning her next field trip. I had to tell her that I don't think so, but that I'd like to chaperone other trips with her in the future.

THE BEST part of today's trip to the theatre was that Grace asked if we can read the Anne of Green Gables series next. Right now, we're in the middle of reading the third book from the Chronicles of Narnia series. We're also reading the Little House on the Prairie series, in between Narnia books. I'm thinking this summer's reading is pretty well all mapped out now!

Trying to put my sister to shame...

One of my many sisters, Becky, has started her very own blog since she and her family moved from CT to FL a couple of months ago. You can check it out at: http://godwingang.blogspot.com/

Unfortunately, she has only ever gotten around to posting her very first post! C'mon Beck! Post some pictures of your new lovely surroundings, at least.....I want to be drooling over your warm, sunny weather, if not looking at how big your kids have gotten since I last saw them!

The big chick move

The coop has been finished off enough to move the Rhode Island Reds out back. Gordon and I did just that last night. We were a little worried about the temperatures getting a little too low last night, though, so we brought out a heat lamp to help make the coop a bit more cozy. (The garage where the chicks' brooder box has been is in our garage, which we keep heated at 50 degrees......the overnight temps last night were supposed to be down in the mid-30's.)

This morning was Grace's first adventure at having to walk all the way out back to check on and care for the chicks. She was super excited to do it! I wonder how long this'll last? Especially when I think about the fact that Grace will be having to check on the chicks at least 2-3 times a day for the immediate future. (Their waterer isn't that big, so it'll need refilling at least twice a day.)

Gordon's friend, Tim, is a carpenter by trade. Tim has asked Gordon to do some side work for him on his truck. In trade, Tim has agreed to build a separate coop for the four bantams. I've found a design online that I really like, so I'm going to try to draw up some rustic plans to give to Tim. Hopefully he can come close to replicating it by deciphering my amateur plans.

Groceries are getting expensive

I went grocery shopping tonight, much to my disgust. I can't believe that I ended up spending over $140! That's with NO MEAT purchased. Ok, I *did* buy a pound of Wunderbar bologna at the deli, but that was less than $3/lb. Just a few weeks ago, a similar shopping trip would have only cost us about $90 - $100.

Better yet, I forgot about picking up the Borax that I need to make some homemade laundry soap. Our last bottle of Purex is just about out, so it's time to finally try out the recipe I found for laundry soap. I've been DYING to try it out! Ah well, what's one more day before I try out my recipe?

For those curious, the actual laundry soap recipe is:
1 Cup Grated Soap *
1/2 cup Washing Soda **
1/2 Cup Borax
Mix together and use 1 Tablespoon per load, 2 Tablespoons if it is a really soilded load.

* Grate up a bar of Fels Naptha, Zote, or Ivory. I chose to use Fels Naptha, which can be found usually in the laundry aisle. (Don't hesitate to look with regular body-bar soaps though, that's where I found it tonight at the Big Y I was shopping in)

** Not Baking Soda, though Washing Soda is made by Arm & Hammer. Make sure you buy the WASHING Soda version. It'll be found in your laundry aisle.

The Middle Wife

This was an e-mail that my friend forwarded to me. TOOOOOO funny to not pass along!!

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.) ' My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this. ' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.